Learning Empathy Through Inclusive Play
Speech pathologists don’t just work on spoken words and speech sounds, we also teach social communication skills, known as pragmatics. These are the unspoken rules used to build relationships. It involves skills like taking turns, reading body language, and tuning into another person’s perspective. As parents, educators, and speech pathologists, we have a unique opportunity to shape social behaviour early through play to create lasting, positive change.
In his new book, 10 Things I Wish You Knew About Raising Boys, paediatrician Dr Billy Garvey highlights that empathy and emotional literacy are skills we must actively nurture. To raise respectful, gentle children, we need to broaden how young boys and girls play from an early age.
The Power of Inclusive Play
When we remove gender boundaries, play becomes a powerful training ground for critical prosocial skills. Role-playing with dolls, tea sets, or doctor kits gives boys permission to practise caregiving and gentleness while learning to tune in to other people’s feelings.
Similarly, running a pretend shop or cooking in a play kitchen builds everyday cooperation, sharing, and perspective-taking. Even simple choices, like dressing up or wearing bright colours like pink, break down restrictive stereotypes early on, giving boys the freedom to express themselves authentically and build genuine empathy.
Likewise, encouraging girls to step outside traditional play boundaries unlocks a vital set of developmental tools. Playing with construction blocks, tool sets, and trucks builds essential visuospatial reasoning, spatial confidence, and fine motor strength, while engaging in active sports fosters risk-taking, resilience, and gross motor coordination.
By giving girls the freedom to build, dismantle, and play assertively, we nurture key problem-solving abilities and self-assurance that serve them well beyond the playroom.
Practical Tips for Daily Routines
Here are some simple ways you can build positive prosocial play at home, in the classroom, or in the clinic:
Support Caregiving in Boys: Keep dolls, tea sets, and play kitchens readily accessible alongside cars and blocks, ensuring boys know caregiving toys are for everyone.
Praise Gentleness in Boys: Explicitly acknowledge tender behaviour ("I loved how gently you tucked your baby doll into bed") to reinforce that care and empathy are strengths.
Encourage Spatial & Active Play in Girls: Offer construction sets, tool kits, and sports gear to girls, giving them space to build, test ideas, and take physical risks.
Praise Resilience & Problem-Solving in Girls: Celebrate their persistence and trial-and-error ("I love how determined you were to build that tower high without it falling").
Label Feelings in Pretend Play for All Kids: Regardless of who is playing, expand their emotional vocabulary in real time ("Teddy looks a bit sad because he was left out—let's go check if he's okay").
By encouraging inclusive, well-rounded play today, we equip all our kids to build healthier, more empathetic relationships tomorrow.
